**Is there a place for qualia in a scientific theory of the mind? **Per some descriptions, qualia are ineffable and private (Dennet, 1988). In parallel, science is interested in the description and explanation of observable phenomena. Hence, given that any quale is only experienced privately and is ineffable, third-parties cannot describe it. In other words, qualia are not observable phenomena. In conclusion, there is no place for qualia in any scientific theory. **References **Dennett, D. C. (1988). Quining qualia. _Consciousness in modern science_. PS: this is a joke.